i can't take it anymore.
i really feel like doing something that hurts cause this, is unbearable.
i really want/have to do it but i just can't do it!
jeez-

if *** cries, then i'm in deep shit cause i'm not the one who's gonna comfort ***.
but i can't take *** anymore.
i feel like, aaagh, like slapping or hitting or even kicking ***.
the best i can do is just try to avoid meeting *** face to face or even talking to ***.
cause i totally do not want to cause a scene.
and i totally do not want to see *** cry.

i don't know what's the matter with ***, that i just can't tolerate *** anymore.
*** tries to be something ***'s not.
and that just pisses me off. you're not perfect, nobody is dude.
there are others who do piss me off just as much but, i'm not saying they;re not nice-
just lay low on the flaws.
its either they shut up, stop it or just well, shut up! -.-'

shut up means shut up, and stop it means stop acting tough, cute, pretty, smart or whatsoever.
its just plain irritating. and it hurts to hate people plus, i really don't want to have bad thoughts.
i just want to clear my head but some people are just making it sooooo difficult.

too ... many .... thoughts .............. icanexplode. -.-"

well, just stop it. you can't fit in, so? don't have to fake it just to make it.
its just not right dude. -.-"'

well, i'm bored. i'll just write some more.

people go around thinking or knowing what are true meanings of;
maybe friendship,
hari raya,

frienship; well, even i don't really know what it really is. i haven't really experienced 'true'
friendship. everyone i'm close with either lies or are just plain irritating. i'm not
saying i'm a good friend either but i know when to keep quiet or stop being clingy or
stop lying. i don't think friendship is to always be there for each other cause that's
just going to be annoying. but i know friendship is not to lie to each other!

hari raya; i don't even know why i'm talking about this subject. to me, its just troublesome to
go around other's house. we actually can just forgive them already. but to me, really to
me, its not just about forgiving each other but still thinking about god. what's the
friggin' point of celebrating a religous event if you're already breaking all the basic
rules like your clothing, i mean put on something abit more propper! and its not that i
don't like this celebration, i'll just forgive but i won't really forget. i don't want to get
duped by the same people again.

i guess my point is, don't claim things if you're not sure yourself.
and most importantly,
don't act smart here. its just annoying and well, still annoying.

i don't even i'm writing here when nobody reads this. -.-'

tears, fears. i guess they're just jitters.

the exam priod's on and i can't handle it. it seems too hard.
i just feel so stupid.
i can't do it. i just can't. i'd fail i do.
i wish i was like some others, or just smart.

can i do it? could i do it?
even if i could, how could i continue it? its too hard!
ugh, what's the matter with me?!
who on earth could help me now,
friends? -.-'
come on.

there are some, but other than that; its just well, phony.
having friends is a challenge. accepting their flaws, its hard. everything's hard to me anyway.
but, there are those who just piss me off and keeps on bullshitting themselves and everyone else.
they're trying to be somehting that's out their friggin' league and they should just face it;
that they're no better than everyone else.

it may not be about who we are or what results we get,
buti still do think that the results do count.
i just don't want to do badly, i'm soooo way behind and i'm trying.
but i'm afraid that my trying just won't do.
or maybe i'm just not doing anything about it.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

to think about it, i still don't know what is my problem.
it should be about exams, but i have a feeling that its just about me.

mann, do i need counselling. -.-'
i need a solution but its either i can't find it, or i'm just not reaching out to it.
serioiusly, what's the matter with me? jeez.