Thanks for the cheers. It somehow gave me wings to fly back up to the edge of that cliff.
But still, there's something wrong with me. I still feel like i'm about to fall, again.
I want to change. I really do want to change for all of you. But its difficult. It really is.

I always thought that there'd be no one waiting for me wherever i turn.
I've thought wrong i admit. But honestly, i think wrong all the time; my mother claims it. ;P
There have been a few beaming lights shining on some people, showing that they are worthy of my trust and companionship.
But there has been alot of dissapointment. Too much really. The feeling is now stuck inside of me.
But right now, i feel like exploding. But i can't. I don't have the heart to do such a thing.

You may think that i literally have no heart, no feelings; but that's not true.
I just don't want to show it, i don't want to trouble those around me.
I cry when you're all gone. I pour it all out when you've walked away.
I put on a mask, flooded with my tears behind whenever you're around.
But i can't take it anymore.
I'll run away as far as i can if that is what it takes to not show;
These water droplets falling down my face.

Friendship is such a strong word.
I don't think i have it anymore. The trust i have given;
Is taken for granted, put aside, thrown away- worn out.
Why? What have i done to deserve what you've done to me?
I've repeated this. I know. But i still want to know>why?
Why aren't you there anymore whenever turn, looking for you? Why?
I may not be picture perfect, or a genius or whatever- but you're my friend.
Aren't friends supposed to be there for you? Aren't they supposed to stand by your side?
Isn't that what i've done for you?

I'm sorry if i can't be what you've wanted me to be.
I'm sorry, i really am.